Disintegration From Terror

by Edward Perry

“We have no reason to mistrust the world, for it is not against us. Has it terrors, they are our terrors; has it abysses, those abysses belong to us; are dangers at hand, we must try to love them.” -Rilke 1904

My reason to mistrust the world is personal. Things that terrorize me do so because I can not unsee them becoming me. I see things that frighten me, I turn away. “If I do not comprehend then I can avoid it happening to me.”
I must face it. I will see it doesn’t become my fate by its presence. I distort my perception of the fear through lack of differentiation between myself and it. The boundaries between us blur. I do no want it to replace me. My sense of self is weak and I fear it holds power stronger than my will to exist. The terror is my terror. The danger is my support of its misperception.